


Skins

by runningfromrealitytoanime



Series: SakuAtsu random fluff [7]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, SakuAtsuWeek2020, past trauma, prompt: skins, slight fluff or angst?, ‘You poor thing’.” (Sakusa), “Nothing sucks worse than someone telling you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23562004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runningfromrealitytoanime/pseuds/runningfromrealitytoanime
Summary: Sakusa could never forget the feeling of dirt on his skin.He thought he would never be cleansed from that filth.Until someone decided to hold onto him for the first time ever since he was four years old.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Series: SakuAtsu random fluff [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1692871
Comments: 4
Kudos: 146
Collections: SakuAtsu Week 2020





	Skins

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! Here is a one shot for SakuAtsu Week 2020 based off the prompt “Nothing sucks worse than someone telling you, ‘You poor thing’.” (Sakusa) and also a bit on the prompt "trace/skin".
> 
> Enjoy.

The first time Sakusa ever felt like ripping off his own skin was when he was four.

He had been an innocent child then, playing in the playground with a bunch of other kids his age. It was sunny, although it had rained a few hours prior, making the ground beneath their feet wet and muddy. Sakusa had no qualms playing outside since he had wellies on until someone decided to push him in the mud.

_Why? Why did they have to do this to me?_ Sakusa thought as he felt his face slam into the mud. He tried to scream as some boys held him under, making sure he swallowed some as he felt himself suffocating. He wanted to cry, to just get out of the mud and go home.

“You’re weird! Why do you have those weird bendy wrists?! It makes you look like an alien and unfair during dodgeball! You’re a freak!” a voice yelled through his distorted ears. He could also hear someone shouting for the boys to pull away before feeling himself getting tugged out of the mud, coughing as he felt something disgusting and cold hitting his tongue and slowly making its way down his stomach. When he slowly looked at his skin, he nearly screamed at some earthworms making their way through his chest, dirt clinging onto his face and his stomach rolling from the sight of it all. He screamed as he tried to rip the worms away from him, bits of them sticking under his nails as he sobbed, begging to be cleaned.

Ever since that day, he hated filth.

He hated the filth known as dirt as well as humans.

Why did they have to treat him badly because he was weird?

He never once took off his mask after that, always trying to keep himself separated from the world that hated him. Even in the sweltering heat of the summers or during the blistering cold of the winter, Sakusa never stopped wearing his mask or washing his hands, spending hours in the shower trying to get himself cleaned.

The feeling of earthworm sticking to him still lingered in the back of his mind whenever he saw a park.

His family took him to see a therapist, desperate to help their son to get rid of his habits. His hands were already ragged raw from washing too much, his skin pale from not wanting to leave the house to go outside. He didn’t even want to be touched by his own parents, something that made his mother break down as she told the therapist.

Which was why he was surprised that he was recommended to play volleyball. His father was a coach for the local volleyball club and sometimes took Sakusa to it. It had been the one place Sakusa hadn’t felt disgusted by despite the smell of sweat mixing in the air.

Even as he held the ball in his hands, trying not to think of the hundreds of hands that had touched it before him, Sakusa felt clean.

His flexible wrists that had been the reason he had been shamed in the past turned out to be an asset on the court, allowing him to put in wicked spins into his spikes whenever he was playing. It earned him the moniker of being an ace whose spikes couldn’t be stopped, letting him reach heights he thought he would never reach if he hadn’t been forced to eat mud as a child.

Deep down, he was slightly grateful for having that happen to him in the past. Although he wished he could just tug down his mask and breath in the fresh air, have someone touch his skin without making him burn and flinch.

He wanted to be held so badly, but he was so afraid.

So when he saw the person across the net smirking in his direction, his hooded eyes shooting daggers at him as they faced off on the court, he never thought that person would be his saving grace from the mask that separated him from the world.

Miya Atsumu was a person who annoyed the living shit out of him, always standing in the way of his team trying to win certain victory on the court. Even so, he defeated them over and over, always making sure he stood on the top and trampled over the rest. Atsumu would call him names from across the court, maybe blow some raspberries as he was wrestled back by his teammates, but that was about it.

He never expected to be playing on the same side of the net as him when they were both adults.

He hated to admit it but despite his annoyingly good looks and filthy mouth, Atsumu was a setter that could accommodate to just about anyone. When he was on the court, he would always set to him the way he wanted, allowing him to spike at his best and perform the best on the court. He felt undefeated with Atsumu by his side, although he wished he could just stop hitting him on the back or trying to get a high five from him.

“Say, Omi omi. You’ve always worn a mask ever since we were in high school. Why don’t you take it off once in a while except when you’re on the court?” Atsumu had asked as they changed in the locker room. Normally Sakusa would bolt out the moment the others got in, not wanting to smell their sweaty armpits and accidentally brush them to risk getting germs on him but this time, the others had bolted earlier, leaving the two of them in the locker room.

“I don’t want to get dirt on me.”

“Come on, it's not like you can literally get dirt from the air. I don’t know how you breathe with that all the time, Omi omi. It feels suffocating,” Atsumu mused as he closed his locker door.

_Yes. It is. But I am so afraid to take it off._

“I swallowed mud and earthworms when I was in kindergarten. It made me sick for days and the feeling of the earthworms on my skin still haunt me to this day. The thought of having accidentally had something come into contact with me and giving me the same feeling makes me feel sick,” Sakusa whispered as Atsumu turned to face him, his bag in hand as Sakusa gripped the mask on his face.

“Nothing sucks worse than someone telling you, “You poor thing.” I’ve got that a lot from having worn his mask all this time from people around me. My parents say that I am trapped behind this because of what happened. I know its stupid for me to dwell in the past because of it, but I’m afraid. Afraid of letting it go and being exposed. I don’t want it to happen again. I…”

“Omi,” Atsumu whispered as he reached to hold his hand when Sakusa flinched.

Atsumu would always attempt to try and touch him, but never in a way that made Sakusa want to jump out of his skin. Sometimes it would be to give him a high five after a good service, or maybe a pat on the back. Sakusa was still getting used to this being done to him by other team members but with Atsumu, it came almost naturally and he almost felt comfortable with it.

“Omi, you’re not pitiful. You’re an amazing wing spiker, an amazing ace and an amazing teammate. I know you hate me trying to touch you or even talking to you at times but please, let me help,” Atsumu said, gently reaching to take his hand. This time, Sakusa allowed him to take it, some part of his brain screaming at him that this was a bad idea as Atsumu’s thumb caressed the back of his hand. His hands felt really clean suprisingly considering Atsumu would normally shower when he got home.

“I want.. I want to take off this mask but I’m scared,” Sakusa whispered as Atsumu dropped his bag onto the bench, his other hand reaching to cup Sakusa’s face. Sakusa didn’t even know why he was letting him touch him this much but feeling someone this close to him after so long made him hunger for it.

“Omi-kun, I will never hurt you, got it. So please…” Atsumu said as he gently touched Sakusa’s mask, his finger tracing Sakusa’s lips as he leaned in, “Trust me on this.”

Why? Why Miya Atsumu of all people, Sakusa would never know.

As the two boys slowly kissed in the locker room, Sakusa could only think of warmth enveloping him and the feeling of touch on his body for the first time in years, his mask being tugged down from his ears as he breathed in fresh air for the first time in forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked this!
> 
> Come yell at me on Tumblr or Twitter @runningfromrealitytoanime.


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